How to Talk To a Lady

Thought the thinly veiled anonymity of this blog may be more appropriate than my blogs listed on my LinkedIn page. No, this blog is not. Actually happened, and actually sent it out Friday.

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Dear Mr. I Made It Seem Like I Had A Job for You to Actually Pitch You to Be A Re-Seller,

Pleasure to meet you too, sir. I apologize for my skepticism at our first meeting, and am quite clear on the details of your organization now. I look forward to moving forward.

Attached is more information than you want about me. Resume, recommendations, skills overviews, and 2 masters theses earned by other people about MY online community design, strategy and web sites.

Of the things we’ve discussed relevant to your needs, I’ve developed organizational strategies, marketing strategies, web and social media strategies, advertising, direct marketing strategies, and managed teams of programmers and salespeople. I have run operations of all stated strategies as well.  What I am best at and most enthusiastic, is the cultivation of authentic community on the internet. 

Buzz words of social media have penetrated the big wigs now, full corporate and organizational roll-out is happening globally and their sold without having any idea what their sold on, and 9 out of 10 are dead wrong when they guess. And I’m in the top 1% of most experienced and educated professionals in the industry.

Perhaps people don’t say this or that I’m arrogant, sir, but I’m good. I’m sharp, well educated, tenacious, worldly, creative, flexible, studious, thoughtful, reliable and thorough. It’s less important that you believe this inventory of awesome than it is for you to accept that I do. So I expect to be just what a company like yours needs, and many many others. I’ve worked hard for what I state about myself and stated any other way would be feigning modesty. So take arrogant off my character and add honesty instead, for I never lie. I’m finally sharpened and refined to such a degree, and the industry has matured and is budgeting properly, I can go get whatever I want. 

If you would be so kind as to engage me and compel me, I’ll be glad to participate in the process of figuring out something good for us to do together. This ‘together’ which I reference, I’m afraid, will have to be tangible, defined like any other corporate job. I have no desire for my own business, a card that says CEO, or promises of potentials of obscene amounts of money. I want to do something kickass. Something challenging, something new. I want to go big, go bold and SURE, I’ll do it for you. Whadaya got?

Sincerely,